Neurodivergent Space

By: Sam_v. Sam_v is a recent graduate from the University of Texas at Austin and writer passionate about neurodiversity.

In any neurodivergent community, you’ll likely encounter the word stimming. It refers to self-stimulatory behavior, including repetitive motions, sounds, or actions, to seek sensory input. Stimming is synonymous with autism because many autistic individuals struggle with sensory processing and seek to override or reset their senses.

Below, I will discuss why stimming is an essential coping mechanism for many autistic people, including myself, along with some of my experiences with stimming as an autistic adult.

Identifying Stims

To understand the importance of stimming, we first need to recognize self-stimulatory behaviors in everyday life. Before I understood stimming, I was familiar with fidgeting. I would describe fidgeting as a tactile stim because it involves repetitive touch or movement to create sensory input. Examples of fidgeting or tactile stims include finger tapping, hair twirling, and nail-biting.

Stimming is not limited to autistic people as it’s a self-soothing technique. For many, stimming is a great tool for focusing because it gives their body the stimulus it craves while allowing their minds to focus on the task at hand. When I think about the people I’ve seen in office settings, I think of them playing with their pens while on the phone and bouncing their legs while on their computers. These are stims, but they are socially accepted stims. If one of these people started flapping their hands or rocking back and forth, others would consider it drastic or inappropriate. 

What is often viewed as inappropriate behavior is a crucial and effective coping mechanism for many on the spectrum. Sensory processing, the brain’s way of understanding, coping with, and reacting to everything your body takes in, is a common struggle among autistic individuals. Stimming combats overstimulation, understimulation, and uncomfortable situations and may help autistic people get through challenging, unavoidable tasks.

An example of this in my life is stimming while in the grocery store. Grocery shopping is a weekly task that I find exhausting and overwhelming. The lights are so bright that they hurt my eyes, the music is too loud for comfort, and I often develop a headache. People try to squeeze past me in the aisles, and the number of items on the shelves makes me dizzy. I often forget what I’m looking for and feel completely overwhelmed. In these moments, I like to rub the soft fabric of my shirt or jacket between my fingers. This helps me focus on only one of my senses and to feel grounded.

Overcoming the Stigma

Regardless of a diagnosis, many are taught from a young age that stimming is distracting to those around them, inappropriate, and even annoying. I believe this is because many view these repetitious behaviors as inconsiderate and improper. Because children are corrected for self-stimulatory behavior, they learn to mask and stim discreetly, privately, or repress the need altogether. Although learning to hide one’s stims can help one fit into society, there are many consequences to one’s well-being.

One of these consequences is burnout because it’s exhausting fighting against your brain and body, and eventually you won’t be able to continue pushing yourself. Another common consequence is isolation, as one may avoid other people for fear of judgment or rejection or because of how exhausting masking can be. Many, including myself, have masked for so long that those around them cannot see the signs of autism and, therefore, go without a diagnosis, the support, and the resources they need to be healthy and successful.

Masking stimming also contributes to the vicious cycle of hiding disability that leads society to believe there is a lack of need for change. When this happens, there is little change and little chance of disabled people having the necessary resources to participate in society, which keeps them hidden, unhelped, unemployed, and struggling to cope.

That said, it’s important to respect the choice to mask in public because it allows autistic people to be perceived as neurotypical and, therefore, equal in the eyes of many. Whether they’re children trying to make friends, teenagers trying to fit in and succeed at school, or adults interviewing for a job with a boss who may or may not let their own bias sway their decision.

Taking the Mask Off

If you’re looking for ways to incorporate stimming into your life, consider when it’s safest to do so. Maybe it’s when you’re in your bedroom, with friends or family, or during the car ride after a busy day. I personally still struggle with stimming in front of other people, so I prefer to do it in the safety of my apartment, but if needed, I will stim discreetly in public.

Here are a few discreet stims I use the most.

• Shifting my weight between my toes and heels
• Opening and closing my fist
• Tapping my fingers against each other
• Playing with a piece of jewelry
• Chewing gum or mint

When I’m home, I tend to use my discreet stims subconsciously while also using stims I’m not comfortable using in front of others. These include

• Flapping my arms by my sides
• Shaking my hands out
• Repeating certain words and phrases out loud
• Using fidget toys like spinners and tangle toys
• Feeling the soft fabric of plush toys
• Rocking back and forth

When I first started incorporating stimming into my life, I had to remind myself that I didn’t need to be embarrassed about these behaviors and had to be intentional in trying different stims out. Now, when I stim, it’s a natural reaction that I don’t give much thought to.

I find myself stimming the most when I get overstimulated from looking at a screen too long, when I dislike a texture or feeling I’ve experienced, and when I’ve been sitting at my desk for too long.

If you find yourself in a situation where you don’t feel comfortable stimming, consider taking a break or asking to be excused to go for a walk or take a bathroom break where you can stim alone. If this isn’t an option, I recommend trying out more discreet stims or talking to someone you trust about needing permission or resources to break away from your current circumstances.

Conclusion

Stimming is a natural and effective coping mechanism for many on and off the autistic spectrum. It isn’t something to feel ashamed of or repress, as it contributes to your happiness and health. Remember that if stimming becomes harmful or self-injurious, you need to stop and seek professional help.

I hope this has helped you learn a little more about self-stimulatory behaviors and their necessity in many people’s lives. I encourage you to keep learning and loving those around you!