Neurodivergent Space

By: Anna Jackson

As a parent of an autistic child, I have years of experience guiding and supporting a high-energy son who also has ADHD. I am dedicated to spreading awareness and providing support based on my experiences for individuals on the autism spectrum.

In this article, you’ll find:

• Introduction to Autism: Basics and impact.
• What is Autism?: Overview of autism spectrum disorder.
• Oliver: A glimpse into an autistic child’s life.
• What to Avoid: Common mistakes to avoid in supporting autistic children.
• David: Oliver’s Cousin.
• Supporting Kids with Autism: Practical tips and strategies.
• Therapist’s Advice: Professional insights for parents and caregivers.

Introduction:

Before sharing my situation and environment, it’s important to understand autism and its signs. Then, I’ll dive into my daily life and how I manage this challenging situation.

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is a complex neurodevelopmental condition that affects communication, behavior, and social interactions. While the exact cause of autism is still unknown, research suggests a combination of genetic and environmental factors. Early detection and intervention are crucial in helping individuals with autism lead fulfilling lives. This article delves into the early signs of autism, the diagnostic process, and effective support strategies for parents and caregivers.

What is Autism?

Autism, also known as Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), is a developmental condition that affects how a person perceives and interacts with the world around them. The term “spectrum” reflects the wide range of characteristics and severity that can vary from one individual to another.

Oliver

Oliver, my 8-year-old son, is a bright and active child diagnosed with both autism and ADHD. Every day from 8 AM to 3 PM, he attends therapy in San Diego, California. His autism is at a high level, which makes him incredibly energetic. Despite his challenges, Oliver is exceptionally smart—he remembers all his teachers, the school, our cars, and even the route to school.

Oliver has a younger sister, Sarah, who is 5 years old. They both go to school together. Recently, Oliver has started saying a few words, which is a big milestone for him.

Oliver’s personality is similar to many autistic children: he thrives on routines. Any change in his routine can upset him, like taking a different route to school or his sister not accompanying him. The hardest days are when his teacher is absent, as he is very attached to her. I recall one of the toughest days was when we found out his teacher was moving to another state—Oliver was distraught and screamed all day.

Every day, Oliver wakes up at 6 AM and goes to bed at 7 PM without needing to be told. Even if there were no clocks at home, he would still know when it’s time for bed.

What Should We Avoid:

One thing I’ve discovered on this journey with Oliver is that certain actions can worsen his behavior. For example, I found that watching TV or using electronic devices for extended periods can increase his anger and frustration. It’s been a year since I stopped allowing him to use his iPad, and I’ve noticed significant improvements. He’s learning words faster, and his outbursts are less intense.

I understand that when our kids are on their iPads, it can be easier for us, but in the long run, their health, well-being, and future are far more important. Another thing I’ve learned is how much sleep affects Oliver’s behavior. When he’s tired, he’s at his worst, so I make sure he never stays up late. Keeping his routines consistent is crucial, and I try not to disrupt them whenever possible.

One of the most important lessons I’ve learned is that yelling or getting angry at him only makes things worse. If someone raises their voice at him, it can ruin his entire day. So, please, avoid yelling or getting angry with kids like Oliver. Lastly, I’ve noticed that sweets and chocolates make him more hyperactive, so I’ve made a conscious effort to avoid giving him those.

David: Oliver’s Cousin

David, Oliver’s cousin, is also diagnosed with autism, but he’s quite different from Oliver. At 4 years old, David is a calm and gentle child who has just started therapy. His autism is at a medium level, and he often spends long periods playing quietly with a single toy on his own. Unlike Oliver, who might yell or get into fights with his sister, David cries when something upsets him but doesn’t show aggressive behavior.

David hasn’t started speaking yet and doesn’t play with other kids, including Oliver. While Oliver tends to be with me most of the time, David is usually with his dad. I’ve noticed many differences between them—energy levels, hyperactivity, how they react when they’re upset, their movements, and their speech development. Despite these differences, they share common traits: both avoid eye contact, are not social, and are extremely sensitive to loud noises and crowded places.

Things I Do to Help Kids with Autism:

1. Ensure they sleep on time.
2. Provide a quiet and calm environment.
3. Limit their use of iPads and iPhones.
4. Spend quality time with them.
5. Maintain a consistent routine.
6. Prevent them from getting hungry.
7. Encourage them to expend energy through play in large, open spaces.

Golden Advice from a Therapist:

One of Oliver’s therapists gave us some great advice: “Now that he’s over 7, it’s time to teach him ‘Yes’ and ‘No,’ just like other kids.” She explained that he needs to learn that some things aren’t okay, and we shouldn’t give him everything he wants just because he has autism. For example, if he asks to use something dangerous like a knife, we should firmly say “No,” even if it makes him upset at first. Over time, this will help him understand limits. It’s challenging because he might get angry and scream, but we know it’s important for his growth and our peace of mind.

Conclusion:

Caring for children with autism can be really tough, and I understand how challenging it can be. I hope no one’s child has to face these difficulties, but if they do, it’s important to learn how to handle the situation better.

Start by figuring out what might upset your child. Many kids with autism get distressed by things like loud noises or yelling. However, each child might have their own specific triggers that you need to discover. Avoiding these triggers can help make their day easier.

Remember, children with autism are just kids. They deserve love and respect like everyone else. Providing them with these things can help them feel better and grow.

I hope my experiences give you some ideas on how to support your own children with autism. With understanding and care, we can make a real difference in their lives.