Neurodivergent Space

By: K Donohue, A mom of a child with ADHD

Everyone’s world changed in 2020. At the time, I was a stay at home mom to a second grader and a fourth grader. They came home to enjoy their spring break not knowing if they would return to school. For our family, it was the beginning of a year and a half long stint of virtual learning. My kids finished off that first school year and I opted to keep them home one more year because my son had some health issues causing him to be high-risk. Our adventure had begun!

When schools first closed, the kids received packets of school work to complete that week and then returned to the school to receive another. I had never planned on homeschooling my children, but I had prepared as much as I could to help them continue their schooling in this new way. I gave my daughter her packet and she promptly sat down to work on as much as she could so that she could be done and move on to activities of her choice. I felt my confidence grow thinking that we would all excel. Then I handed my son his packet of second grade work. “Alright, go ahead and write your name at the top. Right here at the top. See where it says name? Where are you going? You already have a pencil. That eraser is fine. Just put your name here.” Frustration built quickly, how was my ADHD filled son and I going to get through this?

I had to reevaluate how we were going to handle pandemic learning. I had to separate the expectations I had for my neurotypical daughter from my neurodivergent son. My son was not going to be motivated simply by the feeling of accomplishment. We changed our routine to start with physical activity first. We would walk, run, or ride bikes around the neighborhood shortly after breakfast. When everyone was settled, I let my son choose where to work in the house, and I made sure that area was uncluttered and limited distractions as much as possible. When he was at the kitchen table, I quickly realized that he didn’t actually need a chair because he would be standing most of the time, so the expectation of sitting still and quiet were out the window. The interesting thing though, if he was able to stand/ bounce/ balance however he chose, the packet of work got done.

His favorite spot to do work though, was outside on the swing set. He would take his work and any supplies he needed to the top of the slide and work there. The fresh air and sunshine helped his brain calm down. We practiced his spelling words and read out loud while he was swinging. We practiced math by counting jumps and hops. He ended up doing fantastic in his grades that year much to my surprise after a very rough start.

We finished off that year, and I was ready to start again with his third grade assignments, except it was different, yet again. Some kids went back to school in-person, while others stayed home to do virtual learning. This seemed like it would be a happy-medium for those kids who needed to lessen COVID19 exposure. This set-up would prove to be a huge struggle for my son. He was now expected to sit in front of his laptop the entire school day while watching his teacher teach the in-person children and submit his work online in the same expected time frame. 

We had to reevaluate how we were going to be successful for another unconventional school year. The first thing I did was let my son set up his learning area. He had a card table as an impromptu desk where he was able to have all of his supplies at arms reach. He decided to have it set up in a corner of the living-room. We put up some fun educational posters and encouraging quotes on the walls. This helped some, but it became apparent that he was going to need a lot of redirection, so to help this, I spent a lot of my time in the living-room with him to give gentle reminders when he started derailing from the task at hand. We also learned at this time that he is able to multitask. Just because he was playing with an object and not looking at the computer, did not mean that he was’t learning. 

My son often had a rubix cube or other puzzle in his hand while listening to his teacher’s lesson. He was also able to stand up while listening or while actually doing his work. He usually had a notebook for doodling and a view out the window for a relaxing vibe throughout the day. We did survive that year, but not without some disappointment. He was removed from the advanced program because they claimed he was playing instead of paying attention. He moved around too much and got distracted too often. He felt defeated because he loved that program. We now knew that the ways he was coping with his ADHD during the pandemic were not going to be accepted in his brick-and-mortar experience the following year. 

We still use many of these tactics at home for homework. Just last night, we worked on a reading assignment and while I was reading out loud, he was walking around his room working on his favorite Rubix cube. Even though he was not sitting and doing homework in a traditional way, he answered every single question right. He has learned other coping devices he can use in school. They are generally pocket sized, like a smooth black onyx rock for its’ texture and meaning of encouragement, or a small piece of plastic with a textured sticker stuck to it. He also still doodles and keeps colorful pens in his backpack for this reason. These ways have proven to be less distracting to those around him and he has yet to get in trouble doing any of these tactics. 

It is not an easy journey figuring out how an ADHD mind works. It takes a lot of patience and trial and error. We also had to learn which coping strategies were acceptable in different environments. ADHD forces a person to figure themselves out and how to be successful in a world that was not built for them, but built for the self-driven neurotypical human. Those are some high expectations when you would rather be running down that hall than learning grammar mistakes. We are still learning together everyday and I am thankful that I had the opportunity to assist him in getting his ball rolling down that road to success.