Neurodivergent Space

By: Foreverisland, 25-year-old male with a gift for music and traits of autism

I have always loved music. Since I was 5, I’ve enjoyed listening to, singing, and playing music. When I was 20, I felt a sense of disconnect between myself and those around me. What was normal for me was not normal for others, and vice versa. I majored in biochemistry at university, and at the age of 20, I visited a psychiatrist for the first time and was diagnosed as gifted while also having characteristics of ASD. As part of my ASD traits, I was deeply engrossed in solitary activities like playing with building blocks, dominoes, or practicing juggling when I was young, often spending the entire day on them. I tend to pursue things I get hooked on for years without getting bored, no matter how many times I do the same thing. Additionally, I have specific routines and preferences, such as starting my morning with matcha tea and only using black and blue JETSTREAM pens. Recently, I’ve developed a habit of meticulously recording the events of the day in Google Calendar and writing them down in a notebook with a pen. This way, even if my devices run out of power, I can always look back on my actions. I record my emotions, growth, and new learnings daily, so I don’t have to rely on my memory. I believe this is a manifestation of my strong ASD-driven focus and my desire for continuous improvement.

I’ve had epilepsy since childhood, but it was controlled with medication. However, after a seizure caused by missing my medication, I suddenly found myself able to listen to music and play it without sheet music. I also became able to compose and arrange music on the piano. Now, I play the piano and guitar almost daily, improvising and singing as a way to relax.

Insights During the Growth Process

I have always enjoyed learning new things. I began self-directed learning when I was 15 and did experiments at university, but from elementary to middle school, I didn’t make many friends and didn’t particularly enjoy school. I remember feeling a strong aversion to being evaluated based on test scores. Despite this, I filled many notebooks with my interests in biology, especially medicine, veterinary science, and anatomy. Fortunately, in high school, I had the opportunity to study genetic engineering at a university for a year. I remember thinking, “It’s amazing that university students do this every day!”

During my exam preparation breaks, I would always play the piano or breakdance for about 10 minutes. I was thrilled when I received an award in a piano contest in high school. This boosted my confidence and deepened my passion for the piano. Additionally, my father started buying guitars as a hobby, and I was captivated by the pleasant sound. I wanted to sing and play, so I remember practicing Closer by The Chainsmokers over 100 times. It’s still one of my favorite songs, and I often play and sing it on both the piano and guitar.

In university, I also dabbled in DJing, but I felt more fulfilled playing the melodies I wanted to with my own fingers. The sense of accomplishment when I could sing and play acoustic instruments was unparalleled. Over time, as I played instruments during my relaxation time, I became more comfortable playing without looking at sheet music. Especially after my epileptic seizure, my non-verbal perception of music changed significantly.

Life Struggles Unique to the Gifted

During my university years, I played the piano and guitar as a live streamer and earned some income. However, when viewers began to complain, I felt mentally restricted and could no longer play the melodies I envisioned, so I stopped live streaming. When I listen to music, my auditory cortex is highly developed and connects with the parietal lobe, which is responsible for spatial awareness. This might explain why I experience music videos as if they were happening right in front of me, like in the Metaverse. I play melodies according to this sensation, so I don’t actually know which notes I’m playing. Honestly, when I close my eyes, I can see the music video created in my mind more clearly, and my hands move on their own as if I’m half-asleep. Sometimes, it feels like there’s a separate brain in my hands, independent of my head.

Everyone Has a Piece of Genius Within Them

There have been times when people misunderstood me, assuming that because I’m a “genius,” I can do anything. But that’s not true. In reality, everyone has parts of themselves that are “genius,” “talented,” and “ordinary,” just in different proportions. While I’m good at transcribing and arranging music by ear, I’m not as good at reading people’s emotions or remembering not to forget things. That’s why my family and friends, who support me in these areas, are invaluable assets to me, worth more than money.

I’m grateful to have been born and raised in Japan, surrounded by nature and books. My curiosity and passion for learning new things have also allowed me to understand the brain’s reward system. Currently, I am living with an awareness of the addiction mechanisms described in Dopamine Nation and keeping notes on the habits outlined in Atomic Habits—Trigger, Action, Rethink, Rewards. This has helped me realize the importance of relationships and time, things money can’t buy. I pay close attention to how I spend my money and time, recording it digitally and on paper. By tracking these changes, I can feel my growth, and I recommend this practice to everyone. Dopamine, the expectation chemical, can create “can’t-stop” circuits in the brain if released too much, making it hard to return to normal. Therefore, I believe it’s important to avoid cheap dopamine and focus on pursuing what you genuinely want to do and what you dreamed of becoming as a child.

Key Factors in Unleashing the True Potential of Children with Autism

There are three main types of happiness: serotonin-based happiness, oxytocin-based happiness, and dopamine-based happiness. To help children with autism, serotonin-based and oxytocin-based happiness are essential. This means getting sunlight in the morning to release serotonin, the happiness hormone, and having at least one good relationship to release oxytocin, the healing hormone, in the brain. Serotonin is actively secreted in the morning and plays a role in converting short-term memory into long-term memory, making morning reviews ideal for memorization. Interacting with people or animals releases oxytocin, which sustains a sense of happiness.

The fundamental happiness that many children and adults seek comes from things or people that fulfill their need for recognition. Therefore, it is important to acknowledge and not deny children with autism, and to maintain a close relationship with them, assuming the parents themselves are happy. Change the environment, not the mindset. It is no exaggeration to say that the environment shapes behavior. The child’s happiness comes from creativity, not money. Knowing this, I believe one can find happiness by uncovering the talents buried within themselves, without relying on money.

The Importance of Maintaining Inner Peace

After graduating and joining an IT company, I quit after just one day and pursued a career in education. I have always enjoyed teaching and observing. I looked at how students grow from the perspectives of neuroscience and behavioral economics. However, I realized that while I played music in my spare time, I wasn’t building meaningful relationships. I reconnected with friends from high school and university, going to hot springs and having meals together, and I realized how much friends can nourish the soul.

I make sure not to become a workaholic because working too much can make you lose sight of those close to you. At the same time, I try to pursue new fields of interest. I use Google Calendar to plan my schedule the day before and try to stick to it. When I met up with female friends from my school days, the hormone oxytocin, which promotes feelings of bonding, was released in my brain. However, many of my female friends declined invitations to meet or lost contact, but looking back, those are still good memories.

Even as an adult, family and friends remain important emotional supports. Just because I’m in my twenties doesn’t mean I should distance myself from my parents. I make an effort to choose topics they like and have conversations with them, and I make it a habit to praise them whenever possible. People always want to be praised, and being recognized in their areas of strength makes them feel great. Therefore, I believe that building close relationships is valuable, especially as we get older. Conversations can help recall memories, stimulate thinking, and check on parents’ health. Most importantly, the act of talking and expressing oneself lightens the heart and has a positive effect on me as well.

Advice for Individuals with Autism Striving for a Better Life

Understanding the mechanisms of the brain can help achieve good physical, mental, and social health for those with autism (ASD), ADHD, and learning disabilities (LD). Recognizing that the brain can be surprisingly simple is the first step. Identify what you do unconsciously during your spare time. By recording the Trigger → Action → Rethink → Rewards, you can start to notice small daily improvements. I started writing in a small A5 notebook in April 2024, and now I use a larger A4 notebook to record and occasionally review my progress.

Begin with a notebook and pen, writing down what steals your time and affects your emotions, and think about how to positively change these aspects. This has helped clear my mental fog. Truly important things are often few and cannot be bought with money. Develop the habit of taking notes and pursuing what you love. Start by writing down your mental habits for a week, and by continuing, I began to feel changes in my reward system after 33 days. I encourage everyone to try this.