Neurodivergent Space

By: Seasoned Mom. Seasoned Mom is a mom to two children with autism, ages 13 and 9. She is also the spouse of someone on the spectrum. Her education background is with teaching birth to third grade children with an emphasis on special education, specifically autism. 

Relationships, both romantically and socially can be difficult to navigate. Some things that I have found to be useful over the years for my romantic relationship are fairly basic. The most beneficial tools usually come installed on your smartphone; calendar and notes. The calendar is nice because you can create an event and invite your significant other, then the event will show up on their calendar. The notes app is great if you want to write down instructions or create a list of things for your partner to complete. Both participants have access to edit the note that has been shared between the two people. The notes app also provides a universal place to write down any groceries needed. 

Another tool my spouse and I have found useful is The 5 Love Languages. The link will take you to their website where you can take their quiz and find out your love language as well as your partner’s. From this book, we have been able to improve our love and appreciation for each other in ways that make us feel the most supported. I find it useful to schedule events on a calendar if your partner enjoys receiving gifts. The planning can be reduced this way, but acts as a reminder to surprise your partner even if it isn’t spontaneous. Some florists also offer repeat deliveries where you can set a time frame and they’ll do the rest, you just provide the fee. 

I have not found a lot of free life coaching therapists, but there are a handful of life coaches available for a significant fee. A life coach is someone who provides support to achieve goals, advice and strategies. This professional does not provide any cognitive behavior therapy, the focus is on daily living or in your career. One website with life coaching that I found is through Association for Autism and Neurodiversity. This is a resource that would be the most beneficial if you can financially afford it. 

Some other beneficial places to find support as an autistic adult include online forums and support groups. There are a number of groups that you can find through social media platforms like Facebook. The Association for Autism and Neurodiversity also has a discussion forum for autistic adults. 

If you’re struggling with ADHD as well, there are plenty of apps available to help you create and track healthy habits. The one my daughter likes the most is Finch because she can interact with others, collect items and raise a pet by completing daily goals. It comes with pre-determined goals, but you can edit and add your own. This app is offered for free with many features but does have an option to purchase extended options for your Finch pet and friends. 

Lastly, for your romantic relationships we have found it beneficial to attend occasional couples counseling or couples therapy. If you already have a cognitive behavioral therapist, sometimes they are willing to meet with you and your partner to discuss topics or disagreements. Having a neutral third person can help when communication between you and your partner becomes disjointed. Often it is a simple miscommunication between the two that can be cleared up through the neutral third person. Cognitive therapy can also provide a neutral place to talk through social relationships as well.